There are a few things I have had on my mind lately and I want to get them typed out. I need my girls to read this someday. I want them to know that Mom is a real live human being with feelings and thought processes and has a mind that never stops! That I’m not just a robot who does laundry and dishes and rides them to talk nicer to their sisters. I’m not perfect and the first to admit it. My kids know that. I think. I was talking with my SIL a little about this last week. Why do women push themselves so hard? Why do we feel like we have to have a to-do list a mile long and everything checked off by the end of the day? Why do we naturally compare ourselves to the Jones’s down the street? Why do we exhaust ourselves to the point of no return? Why do we think perfection is a universal standard? Why can’t my idea of perfection be different than a neighbor’s two doors down and have that be okay? Why do some women feel guilty for taking an hour a day for themselves? Afterall, most employers REQUIRE you to take an hours worth of breaks a day. They do this to ensure the level of work is quality. Why should it be any different for a stay-at-home or work-at-home mom? Raising children is a job. You need to rejuvenate yourself on a daily basis on some sort of level in order to ensure your quality parenting! I don’t even know what I am getting at really. I have just had some random thoughts rolling around in my head! I would love to hear your thoughts and get your feedback on this too. I was thinking about this word perfection. I read or heard this quote recently that I think sums it all up. I have no idea who said this but it’s pure and real and right.
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business”
I think since this whole blogging thing has come along it’s been a really good thing and a really negative thing if you let it be. Good because we can track the daily stuff in writing and photos. We can keep in touch with friends and family with just a few keystrokes and a click of the mouse. I’ve struggled my entire life to keep a journal and write in it consistently….never lasted more than about 3-5 entries! I have started nothing short of a thousand journals in my lifetime. No joke! But my blog? This has been an adventure! I love it more than I can say! I have been blogging consistently for 17 months now. That is an accomplishment for me! I love that I can jump on here quickly and share something funny the girls did or post a layout I scrapped and am excited about. It’s been a good thing for me. I love the encouragement and sweet remarks I get from people all over the world. I have online friends I never would have otherwise and it’s been a thrill!
Now the negative??? There doesn’t have to be but there is if you let it be. Don’t get down on yourself if you miss a few weeks posting! Who are you blogging for anyway? I know there will be people looking at your blog and that’s part of the fun…..it’s an interactive online journal!!! But remember it’s ultimately for you and your family. It’s a family/personal history tool. If you miss a month on it then life has been crazy enough to keep you away and that’s okay! Just update and move on! Don’t let it burden you like it’s just one more thing you HAVE to do. There are no rules…..you make your own. The other thing is that whole comparing ourselves to others stuff. Remember when you are reading other people’s blogs that you are getting the not-so-intimate details of someone’s life for the most part. Don’t fall into the “dang…..how does she do all she does everyday?” trap!!! This is dangerous and highly self-destructive. Avoid the “I wish I could be as crafty as her” stuff!!! If everyone had the same level of creativity then the world would be a not-so-colorful place! Don’t think for two seconds that someone else’s life is peaches and cream based on what you read on their blog!!! I guarantee we all have daily struggles and trials we are working thru. Some things you will read about and some you won’t. I try and blog some of both for my children’s sake. Some people might think that I divulge too much info on here but oh well. It’s all about what I can sleep with at night.
I guess my point was going to be to enjoy your life. Take care of you. Take care of your relationship with God. Take care of your family. Don’t let things that ultimately don’t matter weigh you down emotionally. Reach for excellence……not perfection. You won’t disappoint yourself. Now if I could only heed my own advice! Have a great week everyone!
January 22nd, 2007
January 22nd, 2007 at 3:12 am
Lucy Says:
Amen Shanna!
Thank you for inspiring me to laugh a little more, to love those around me with all my heart, and to begin an online journal in the first place.
January 22nd, 2007 at 7:13 am
Meghan Says:
Well said!
Now, when we have to type in our secret code, do you know, so far, I have had all rapper names?
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:54 am
Erica Says:
TOO TRUE! Shanna-isms rawk!
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:11 am
Administrator Says:
Hee Hee…..yes Meghan….I know. You can thank my web-guy/brother for that. He said I could change that if I wanted to but it makes me laugh so I leave it. Some may recognize and some may not. LOL
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:13 am
Teri Says:
Shanna! You are amazing. Not because you make the cutest stuff or have the cutest kids or because you’re hubby is such a hottie! *wink* But because you are human and I love the way you show it.
BTW, you *do* make the cutest stuff, have the cutest kids and hubby. Your perfection already! =)
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:26 am
Amie Says:
Great advice! I think that’s how women are wired for some reason…your words are a good reminder.
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:59 am
Tammi Says:
Shanna, that is good stuff. I think we all compare ourselves, but the best part is our kids don’t.. They seem pretty happy with the Mom’s they get.. Tammi
January 22nd, 2007 at 11:01 am
Lori Says:
You always have some little advice on a day when I really need it!!! We may live 2000 miles apart, but you always make me smile the same as when we lived 5 mins apart!!
Last night I was laying in bed thinking of all the things I need to get done before today is over, and your right, I guess I don’t need to have it all done by the time I get to bed tonight. My house may be a mess, but I guess that means I’m having enough fun with the kids!!
Love Ya Girl!!
January 22nd, 2007 at 11:28 am
elly Says:
Thanks Shanna! You are right on. I always find myself stressing out about stuff that just doesn’t matter. We are our worst critic!
January 22nd, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Jessica K. Says:
Shanna, totally get where you are coming from. I put mine into words awhile ago here: http://jessicak.typepad.com/bits_and_pieces_of_me/2006/12/do_you_ever_won.html
and it is a good reality check for me to hear others that struggle with it too. We are all in this together and doing the best that we can. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
January 22nd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Becky Says:
Yes, Shanna, you are SO right. I have been struggling with these exact same feelings lately. I don’t blog, so that’s not where it’s coming from, but just life in general. Always feeling like I’m running behind and letting people down left and right and never ever taking a minute for myself. And always feeling like a failure if my house is a mess and the dishes aren’t done and all the ‘projects’ are still waiting for me. But thanks for the reminder that we are all REAL women, not wonder women. Have a great day!
January 22nd, 2007 at 12:42 pm
FLA Lisa Says:
Shanna,
Amen to everything you wrote! I LOVE that quote. And you are right, women in general are TOO hard on ourselves. You wrote it beautifully. Keep up the good work, I am working towards being brave enough to commit to writing my own blog. Sure do enjoy yours!
FLA Lisa
January 22nd, 2007 at 1:49 pm
lisa Says:
ha–the rapper thing is cool! well, i hear everything you’re saying and the older you get (not that I am older!) the better you get at the above things–not worrying over a messy house or dirty dishes or whether you blogged enough or whatever! my neighbor was asking me where we are moving too when we sell this house and i said “i don’t know” and she wanted to know how i could not be seriously stressing over that and i said “it is what it is” everything always turns out right even if you have to ride some waves to get there. oh yeah–my new favorite quote and i don’t know if this is it exactly but oh well! “it’s all right in the end and if it isn’t all right it isn’t the end!” love that!!!
and i hear you on not comparing–trust me–there are no superwomen out there!!! you can’t do it all–you can fake it to others but there is no way that anyone can do everything and do everything well–you have to make compromises for everything and have your priorities set. right now while my kids are little my #1 priority is my family. everything else is second to that. ok–good post shanna! it’s nice to know you have a brain behind that sex goddess facade!!
January 22nd, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Administrator Says:
No you din’t Lisa! ROFLMAO! “sex goddess facade” WHATEVER!!!! LOL That is HILARRRRRRIOUS!!!
January 22nd, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Michelle Says:
You are so right Shanna, if only I could actually DO all that
It’s not the Jones’ I try to keep up with. It’s the Vineyard’s, and McGrath’s and Rogers’ and Shumways, and Dunn’s, and collins, and….all those AMAZING people I actually KNOW who make me raise the bar on myself. It’s not always a bad thing, but it is something I should go easier on myself about.
I mean I know truly amazing people. People I DO want to be more like. Or learn something from, at least. What I need to remember is that those people (y’all) love me too, and don’t judge me for having a dirty floor, or bathroom, or kitchen sink. That’s where I stumble. *I* need to trust more. I need to allow that it’s okay if your house is clean and mine is not.
January 22nd, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Jessica Says:
I agree with everything everyone is saying! If my house is clean then I haven’t had enough time with just my kids! I always find myself telling my daughter “just a second” and then thinking…”no do it now! She wont want anything from you one day so do it and love it now!” I have a very different outlook now that I’ve lost a child… I take in EVERYTHING because live is fragile! No amount of money or who has what will be with you when you leave this life but your family will be so ENJOY!
Thanks Shanna!
January 22nd, 2007 at 5:04 pm
laura Says:
ah, wise words, shanna.
what a great entry.
January 23rd, 2007 at 12:02 am
Deanna Says:
Thanks Shanna. This is something I have been struggling with since I am cooped up in my house with all the kids and they are constantly messing it up. Scrapping is pretty much not happening here and I am feeling the strain of keeping up with myself more than the Joneses.
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:01 am
Barb Dean Says:
Shanna, i totally hear you sista! Geez, i totally get that and my friends and i talk about this very issue.
you writing about it really makes me feel normal! LOL! scary thought!
January 24th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Wendy WVG Says:
Hey Shanna!!! I can’t believe people would really tell you that you share too much on YOUR blog. I would reply and tell them not to read it then, mind their own damn business! HA! I think it’s down to earth, awesome, women unite kinda stuff when you can put yourself out there and share what kind of day, thoughts, issues, successes you’re really having! Congrats to you for being a real woman and not ‘doing it all’ !!!
have a great day..don’t burn any mac & cheese.. and my son just turned 5 a couple months ago..it’s a bit sobering, isn’t it? ENJOY!!!
January 24th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Leslie Says:
This topic is very near and dear to me. In fact, as I sat counting thousands of McDonald’s receipts last night at 11pm (don’t laugh - it was for a school fundraiser) I questioned the whole, “what the &*#% am I doing and why” thing. I’m constantly pushing myself, and it’s really taking a toll. Gosh, I’ve stopped looking like the 29 years old I’ve claimed to be for many, many years . . . and have started looking older than my actual age! LOL! But between working full time, carting my kids all over the freakin’ world for their extra-curriculars, keeping up with laundry and other chores . . . I’m spent!! The very sight of my To Do list makes me cry! And while I keep telling myself something’s gotta give, I’m never really able to eliminate anything from the list!! Oy! Looks like I’m going to have to lower my expectations . . . from world domination to (perhaps) having clean toilets. That’d be good.
January 24th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Tami Says:
That was one inspirational quote!! Why do we do this to ourselves???? I’m demanding my breaks starting tomorrow!!! Take care, girlie! Love ya!!
January 25th, 2007 at 12:35 am
Linda Says:
Man, I love you! I picked the right time to stop by! I needed the reality check. I just LOVE the “perfection is God’s business”. That really does say it all.
You’re the best! Hope you are doing good!